We Deserve Wayne’s World 3

We Deserve Wayne’s World 3

By Michael Fight

With Bill and Ted Face The Music, the 3rd installment of the series, around the corner on video on-demand release it’s time to revisit some other 80-90s classics. Of course I’m talking about the, arguably best, SNL spinoff film series Wayne’s World.

Wayne’s World was born from Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey, with the first iteration airing on February 27th, 1988 (with host Judge Reinhold) on the NBC show Saturday Night Live. The premise of the sketch was 2 metalheads making a public access TV show from Wayne Campbell’s basement. They would talk music, celebrities, make jokes, and just generally be degenerates(6 years before Beavis and Butthead). This sketch all born from Mike Meyers on Canadian show It’s Only Rock & Roll where Wayne Campbell made his first appearance.

Party time! Excellent!

Now, it’s not without its problematic moments. They do spend a large portion of the sketches objectifying women, often Heather Locklear (The Kardashian of the 80-90s) with their catch phrase “Schwinnng!” which as all people with penis’s know is the sound it makes when you get an erection. It’s just science. Grading them on a 1-10 scale and just generally fawning over popular actresses/models of the time. This was severely less in the films relegated to dreamy-lovey scenes instead with characters being more enamored with a female, as opposed to sex driven infatuation. Namely Cassandra (played by Tia Carrere) for Wayne, and none other than Heather Locklear for Garth(in Wayne’s World 2).

It’s been 27 years since our last Wayne’s World film and the last time the duo appeared was during the 40th Anniversary SNL Special in 2015. So what exactly would the plot of Wayne’s World 3 be?

I’m so glad you asked.

The events of Wayne’s World 2 leaves Wayne and Garth having successfully executed a Woodstock-esque concert. Of course this is with the help from the ghost of Jim Morrison, a weird naked Native-American(referred to as Indian in the film, but we know better), and legendary roadie Del Preston (played by Ralph Brown). We know Cassandra and Wayne will remain together and seemingly Garth has found a companion in an eerily similar Betty Jo (played by Olivia d’Abo). But where do we go from here? We know Wayne has found his way in having faith and trust in himself and those around him, via the guidance of Jim Morrison. We know Garth has learned to be more confident, specifically around women, but also in standing up for himself to his friends (a lesson MANY of us can learn). So how do the characters grow and what becomes of them, now 27 years later?

If we exclude the SNL appearances and go strictly by the films, our assumption is Wayne and Garth are in their approximate mid-twenties. Let’s say they are each 25 at the time of Wayne’s World 2. Today, that leaves them both at 52 (yikes). At this point we have to account for those 27 years. We have 2 options of approaching the plot of our 3rd film.

Option 1: The Same Old Song and Dance

The easiest option is to just have them back on Wayne’s couch in his parents basement. Not much has transpired in the last 27 years, they still have their public access show, still jack around with their friends, still just have their girlfriends. All is the same. Old reliable.

Perhaps we get a “You’re over 50 now, what have you done with your life?” theme. We delve into responsibility and balancing the “party on” with the “pay the bills”. In this version of the film we would see Wayne realizing, yet again, he hasn’t accomplished anything since his big achievement in Waynestock, instead living off the high and notoriety of that event. Garth, being the faithful friend, has stayed at his side not ever choosing to grow or branch out himself.

This would be the bad option. So screenwriters, don’t do this.

Option 2: The Modernization of Party On

Option 1 is boring. It’s predictable. It also paints a sad picture of this white man fantasy of “I have to do something world breaking in order to feel successful” mentality. The American Dream of everyone can be a rock star. OLD HAT.

INSTEAD, we will show Wayne and Garth having grown apart. Both becoming successful in separate fields. Wayne, a well known concert promoter, perhaps the CEO of a concert promotion company. Wayne is married to Cassandra who after years of touring and making albums with her band, Crucial Taunt(still the best band name ever, there is no debate on this) has moved to producing albums and opening her own label. Still living in Aurora Illinois, but in a much bigger home. Wayne has his own hockey rink installed in a wing of their house. Two children, but we will get to them in a moment.

Garth, is now the head of a tech company that makes robots for the government. He lives in an equally large house, still in Aurora Illinois, and still across the street from Wayne and Cassandra. Garth has multiple ex-wives and is now known as somewhat of a ladies man, with a kid of his own that stays with him most of the time. We see Garth often attending large galas, fundraisers, and hollywood events often.

However, our characters no longer speak to each other. Not out of spite, or anger, but just getting progressively more entrenched in their own lives. A divide has occurred. Their kids, however, have become friends knowing their parents have known each other all their lives.

As an aside, I also love the idea of an animated kids version of Wayne’s World that shows Wayne and Garth growing up together and getting into mischief, solving mysteries, and just generally having a good time. But that’s a story for another day. Party on.

Our film opens having established the past events, and addressing the future. Giving adequate time to catch up on the pair and explain everything I laid out above. But now we move onto the children. Now in their late teens, they discover VHS tapes of “Wayne’s World”. As a joke they post the show to YouTube only to learn it has accidentally gone viral.

At first the children try to hide the fact that it was them, causing both Wayne and Garth to try and find the culprit. This gives us a great way to revisit all the old favorites and classic characters from the past Wayne’s World films. We can visit Ed O’Neill at Mikita’s and see he’s still running the place 24/7. We can revisit Heather Locklear, just because. We can make a run at Rob Lowe, who played the evil TV Exec from the first film. All the old favorites!

The idea is to show both Wayne and Garth have now become angered with their original content being available for free on the internet and want a slice of the pie. They have become greedy, consumed with business, and obsessed with getting proper credit for something that they just did for funsies and distributed FOR FREE. We have our huge moments and then eventually the confession from the kids “We just wanted to show the world how fun you used to be”. My heart.

Wayne and Garth now have to face up to their past, having seemingly forgotten their “Party On” attitudes and reconnect with each other. The true lesson is learning that in life responsibility is key, but don’t forget to party on every once in awhile. We can close with a scene of them rekindling the show, getting back to their roots, but this time, passing the torch to their kids who can now take on the legacy of Wayne’s World in a modern age. I mean, Wayne’s World basically was a YouTube show ahead of its time.

And with that I say “Goodnight and party on”.

Michael Fight is the host of Never Heard Of It and The Storyteller Series.